|
08/05/04 - 01:16
office diva
so. actually. I'm starting to think I should be cubicleadam. Despite not having a cubicle. I think that might be my goal, though. At least to start with. A little cubicle action would be good. Much as I love tha cubiclegirl (and did you buy her book yet? if not, you get this patented AdamW KICK UP THE ASS), I never thought I'd quite be the office diva she is, but I'm totally getting there. I've been in my job two weeks, and already I got my systems. I got my methods. I got my ring binders and my hole punch and boy, do I got envelopes. And above all, that absolute crucial element of Official Office Divahood, I got a Shea Stadium size chip on the shoulder about how everyone ELSE does their cubicle slave taskload. Why, in the holy name of Herbert Kornfeld, do you have to print out EVERY SINGLE DAMN EMAIL anyone ever sends you, oh You Who Shall Remain Nameless? I mean. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Then leave them all in a big pile on your desk which falls off at regular intervals. Hello. That's why the Outlook folder is called "Inbox", kay? It's a sort of electronic version of the pile with none of the drawbacks. Did someone forget to teach you this concept? Why, in a so-called "paperless office" (which, I've been tickled to learn, means one with only about a hundred filing cabinets), do people send me hard copies of reports which I have to edit on the computer then print out MORE hard copies to mail out? I mean. What do you expect me to DO with the hard copy? Besides shred it, which is what I do. All 50 pages of it. EVERY DAMN TIME. YOU WATCH ME DO IT. And why do people with the glorious title "Senior Administrator" not know how to use Excel? So I've got a spreadsheet with around 600 entries and associated dates. All the entries need dates by 4pm. Maybe 20 of the entries don't have them. What are my instructions? "Oh, just print out the whole thing and we'll fill in the gaps on the hard copy". Hell-O. What did you think that "Filter" menu entry was FOR, anyway? Decoration? So. Yeah. Did I mention the office diva thing? Suffice to say. The whole damn thing was dated well in advance of 4pm. And all the OTHER bits of it actually match the seventeen thousand odd conflicting hard copy versions of schedules and taskloads that people dumped in my in tray at various points in the day. And now everybody's got a nice little page-long extract from the Meister Spreadsheet detailing exactly what they've got to do on what date. In the same format. In their frickin' EMAIL, not on paper. And I'm kinda pleased with today.
before / after
|